Thanks usually does it

I'm working hard on all the things I told you I'd be working on right about now.  I had set a word count goal for myself for this second book, which I've learned is pretty easy for me to meet.  The hard part is that somedays I just can't get to the writing at all, with other work that I'm doing getting in the way.  But I'm not about to complain about that.  I'm doing what I can for right now and I plan on just continuing to put in my best and making my best better.

In the meantime, let's bring it back to gratitude, as you know I like to do.  

Thank you.  Thank you for days that feel like fall even in a never-ending summer.  Thank you for the people that show up in your life when you least expect just to tell you they care.  Thank you for spinach and chickpeas, braised in coconut milk and served over roasted sweet potato.  Thank you for a best friend, that's a life partner, that's a lover that's a lionheart.  Thank you for the new bind I just found in my yoga practice.  Thank you for my healthy body.  Thank you for the way the wind trickles up my skin as I ride a bike.  Thank you because I always seem to be able to find the money for whatever I need and sometimes just what I want.  

Thank you because life can still be swell even when it's heartbreaking.  Thank you for everyone that's guiding me, those I can and can't see.  Thank you for the colourful wheels of light that spin within me: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, lavender and violet.  Thank you for this moment, right now, this single beat of my heart.  This breath.  

If you're reading this thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Love and thanks. 

In which I officially become an Angelino

It's 13 degrees celsius with clouds right now in LA (that's 56 Fahrenheit for all you Americans) and I'm freezing.  This can only mean one thing: Los Angeles is seeping into my bones.

Still, the sun manages to tear through all other weather conditions by noon in LA so the only indication of fall are the pumpkins and sheet ghosts lurking on doorsteps.  Despite wanting to curl in my bed and hibernate now that the temperature has finally dropped, I do miss autumn.  It's the month that always makes me feel like change is coming — not just in the seasons but in life.

And I suppose I am going through a transformative sort of time — learning new things, writing a new book.  Not long ago I discovered this great website called Author Media, dedicated to helping authors with their Internet promotion.  They have a great Facebook page too and on that page post these pictures, which I would now like to share with you.  Writer or no, you may get a laugh from them.  Happy Friday everyone!

 And so I will!

Anything with Christopher Walken is awesome.

  My favourite of course....

Learning to fall

These past couple of weeks life has been getting away from me a bit.  I mean that mostly in a positive way.  I've been busy with yoga teacher training, new work and a weekend getaway to Santa Barbara, all of which have taken me away from writing a little bit.  But today I was back at it again and will be tomorrow and I plan on keeping it up from there.  It's so fun and strange to be writing a first draft again.

The last time I was writing one was in 2008 and I'd forgotten what it felt like to just pull stuff out of thin air.  The hard part is trying not to care how you're telling the story and just focusing on getting the thing out.  I try to remind myself that the first draft of my first book in this series was equally as sh$%&tty as this one when I started out.  Also there are aspects of storytelling that can be fixed in the rewrites, so right now it's about letting go of the idea that the storytelling will be a success right out of the gate.

Of course, letting go and being open to failing the first time around can be hard to do in any area of life.  In my yoga practice this is manifesting with me trying to let go of my fear of falling in inversions like handstand.

One of my teacher's said to me a little while ago that the best way to get over a fear of falling is to learn how to fall.

I love that.  Because falling is inevitable, right?  We all have to get up there and do our best and fall down sometimes, don't we?

But if we can learn how to fall with grace, with compassion, with an ability to be kind to ourselves and those around us who tried to help, then that fall will be a success in its own right.

In yoga learning to fall pretty much means knowing the best way to get your feet back on the ground.  I think right now in my writing life learning to fall means allowing myself the capacity to keep giving it my best even though I might fail.  At least then I have a foundation to support me for the next draft, and the draft after that and after that.  At least then I'll have roots, so as I build on that first draft, climbing higher and higher, my book will have something to anchor it to the earth and support it as it grows.  Then hopefully one day it won't fall.

In the rest of my life, learning to fall means not being hard on myself when I find out I'm wrong about something, knowing when to apologize when its necessary, and knowing how to leave the fall behind me once it's finished.

What does learning to fall mean to you?  

Busy!

Between yoga teacher training, writing and work (yes, work!) I am pretty swamped right now.  Still, couldn't be happier.  I've had some travel writing stuff take me away from my book this week and though I feel a little frustrated about it this work is awesome and I'm truly grateful for it!  On that note, here's a link to two stories that published in two publications I haven't written for before.  These two are travel agent pieces, one for TravelAge West, the other for Family Getaways (a sister pub of TravelAge West).  Still some great Hawaii info if you're interested!

TravelAge West Story

Family Getaways Story

Have a a great weekend folks!

Exposed

This week has been a lot of things for me.  I've fully dug into the second book in my series.  I've been thrown in (thrown is definitely the right verb here) to my yoga teacher training.  And it was also my 31st birthday on Monday — the beginning of a new year for me.  Putting all these things together there have been some high points and not so hight points as well.

Also, the culmination of these things signifies further change in my life.  Good change: getting older, the freedom of writing a first draft from the heart to page, the excitement of beginning a learning process I have wanted to start for quite some time.  The not so good things: getting older, the terror of pulling a story out of thin air while ignoring the voice in my head telling me my storytelling sucks, and lastly, dealing with a fear of public speaking in my teacher training where I must put my true self out there for all to see.  Exposing myself.

We all have those moments of feeling exposed, don't we?  Where we feel sliced open at the heart.  Where we feel more naked than being naked.  For some reason, at this point in my life, that's what it feels like for me to stand up in front of people to speak.

So you might be asking yourself: then why the hell are you taking a yoga teacher's training? Well, because I love yoga.  Because the idea of teaching seems amazing to me.  Because I don't want fear to stop me from doing something I love.

This week my Mom sent me these videos to help me deal with the fear of putting my true self out there, of being vulnerable.  Brené Brown has also just published a book on this subject, if you're interested. I downloaded it to my Kindle just before I began this post.

If there's something you're feeling vulnerable about, you might want to take some time out of your life and watch these videos.  And, if you watch the second video you'll learn if you never feel vulnerable about anything then chances are you're a sociopath....so, in other words, there is something in these TED Talks for you.  Brené Brown is really funny too!  This first video came out in 2010:



Here's the second video, which you'll understand better if you've watched the first. This one came out in March 2012.

Hope you enjoy!  Here's to being vulnerable, to not shying away from shame, to being flawed right out in the open.

Zadie and eVerest

I don't have much to say at the moment and today happens to be my hubby's birthday so I thought I'd post one of my favourite songs of his for all of you to enjoy.  Happy Birthday Toomie! Love you more than I could ever say in words.  Keep making great music!

It's also someone else's birthday today who is equally as special to me: my Zadie.  He is seriously one of the most amazing, happy, joyful people I know and today turns 88!  He served Canada in World War II and is featured in something called the Memory Project.  Click the name or this to hear his voice and learn some of his World War II story.  Love you Zadie!

We've got it. Here. Now.

A few days after I returned from Hawaii my Mom and Aunt came to visiti me in LA for the first time.  Below is a picture of them at The Grove.  And of my Mom and I, with me in my new dress from Pinup Girl Clothing, which makes AMAZING 50's style clothing that I cannot say enough about. I'd been wondering how I could get my hands on a Betty Draper dress for quite some time.  This picture doesn't really show my dress, but it's this dress, I will soon be going back for.

Not sure if you can see the pink elephant with the champagne glass on my shoulder.  Supposedly my Mom's parents had elephants and champagne wallpaper in the 50s/60s and that makes me love this dress even more.

I had a great time while my Mom and Aunt were visiting.  The trip was too short but there you have it.  I miss my Mom everyday but it won't be long until I see her again.

And what's helping me get through the overall sadness I feel about my Mom being gone is what's around the corner....

I didn't realize this until a couple of weeks ago but this Fall I will be spending the majority of my time doing two things that will mean a dream of mine has come true.

This:

And this:

For the last five years before this one, when I was working full time out of an office, I used to dream about a life where I'd sold books and made enough money to write what I wanted to write for a living, gain a deeper knowledge of yoga and get down to a daily practice.

So the part of the dream where I can support myself through writing what I want to write hasn't come true... yet.  BUT, the other two things have.

In September, actually on Sept. 10 (which is my 31st birthday and weird that I'll be starting on this day for so many reasons I'll have to get to in another post) I'll be starting my first draft of the second book in my series.  And on September 7 (and actually this is my hubby's and grandfather's birthday) I'll be attending my very first class for yoga teacher's training!

Then for the next three months my life will be fully devoted to two of the things I love most (and a few other things I love too of course).  If someone would have told me this a year ago, oh how my heart would have smiled.

But never mind that, because it's smiling now!

I've written a lot in my journal about wishing writing and yoga would take up more of my time and become more of what I devote myself to.  The writing, thankfully, has a steady place in my life now that I'm grateful for.  Now I hope through this teacher training that I'll learn more about the practice of yoga and accept it into my life with a deeper knowledge that will keep with me on and off the mat.

So this is one of those great moments.  The moment when I look at my life and realize that, right now I have everything I need.

But the trick to this, you see, is that this is always true, even if it doesn't seem so obvious or not a single dream has come true.

Because we all have exactly what we need in this moment— to take us out of a situation we don't want to be in, to root us more firmly in the present, to realize that things are the way they are because we have lessons to learn and growing to do.

As great as things are right now I can also think of recent moments when I haven't felt so great, and even in those moments I've had everything I need.  I'm learning from these moments as much if not more than the easier ones.

And as far as now goes, if I keep doing and dreaming and feeling grateful for what I have now, I hope these things I love and support through my time, care and devotion, will support me back in new, greater and exciting ways — through love, through abundance.  And through a deeper understanding of who I really am.