Wednesday, August 29, 2012

We've got it. Here. Now.

A few days after I returned from Hawaii my Mom and Aunt came to visiti me in LA for the first time.  Below is a picture of them at The Grove.  And of my Mom and I, with me in my new dress from Pinup Girl Clothing, which makes AMAZING 50's style clothing that I cannot say enough about. I'd been wondering how I could get my hands on a Betty Draper dress for quite some time.  This picture doesn't really show my dress, but it's this dress, I will soon be going back for.

Not sure if you can see the pink elephant with the champagne glass on my shoulder.  Supposedly my Mom's parents had elephants and champagne wallpaper in the 50s/60s and that makes me love this dress even more.

I had a great time while my Mom and Aunt were visiting.  The trip was too short but there you have it.  I miss my Mom everyday but it won't be long until I see her again.

And what's helping me get through the overall sadness I feel about my Mom being gone is what's around the corner....

I didn't realize this until a couple of weeks ago but this Fall I will be spending the majority of my time doing two things that will mean a dream of mine has come true.


And this:

For the last five years before this one, when I was working full time out of an office, I used to dream about a life where I'd sold books and made enough money to write what I wanted to write for a living, gain a deeper knowledge of yoga and get down to a daily practice.

So the part of the dream where I can support myself through writing what I want to write hasn't come true... yet.  BUT, the other two things have.

In September, actually on Sept. 10 (which is my 31st birthday and weird that I'll be starting on this day for so many reasons I'll have to get to in another post) I'll be starting my first draft of the second book in my series.  And on September 7 (and actually this is my hubby's and grandfather's birthday) I'll be attending my very first class for yoga teacher's training!

Then for the next three months my life will be fully devoted to two of the things I love most (and a few other things I love too of course).  If someone would have told me this a year ago, oh how my heart would have smiled.

But never mind that, because it's smiling now!

I've written a lot in my journal about wishing writing and yoga would take up more of my time and become more of what I devote myself to.  The writing, thankfully, has a steady place in my life now that I'm grateful for.  Now I hope through this teacher training that I'll learn more about the practice of yoga and accept it into my life with a deeper knowledge that will keep with me on and off the mat.

So this is one of those great moments.  The moment when I look at my life and realize that, right now I have everything I need.

But the trick to this, you see, is that this is always true, even if it doesn't seem so obvious or not a single dream has come true.

Because we all have exactly what we need in this moment— to take us out of a situation we don't want to be in, to root us more firmly in the present, to realize that things are the way they are because we have lessons to learn and growing to do.

As great as things are right now I can also think of recent moments when I haven't felt so great, and even in those moments I've had everything I need.  I'm learning from these moments as much if not more than the easier ones.

And as far as now goes, if I keep doing and dreaming and feeling grateful for what I have now, I hope these things I love and support through my time, care and devotion, will support me back in new, greater and exciting ways — through love, through abundance.  And through a deeper understanding of who I really am.

Monday, August 6, 2012


If you've read this blog before you know I get to travel for work.  This morning I left Oahu (the Hawaiian island where you'll find Waikiki Beach) and right now, I'm on Maui, staying at Napili Kai Beach Resort, listening to the waves crash against the shore right outside my balcony window.

On Oahu I stayed at The Kahala, a luxury property steeped in understated decadence.  It's where presidents stay, the Japanese Emperor, once Princess Di and only two months ago, the Dalai Lama.  As you walk from your room to the beach, dolphins play in the waters by your feet.
There are a few places around the world that are truly thought of as paradise.  You know, the kind of a tropical variety: islands embraced by a crystal blue sea, warm and soothing as apple pie, palm trees scattered about, sand that twinkles on your skin.  It's hard to say which of these destinations is the ultimate Eden, heaven on Earth, but on this trip I think I've got to fess up and admit that Hawaii might be it.

You see, on top of Hawaii's sheer beauty, it's culture, the many humpbacks leaping into the air on Maui during their breeding season, Hawaii's got the weather.  It's arguably the best in the world.  SoCal folks like to believe they've got it, thanks to all the sunshine, but Hawaii's got something on them: the trades.  The trade winds ensure that no matter where you are in Hawaii it is pretty much always the perfect temperature.  It's not so hot you have to jump in the pool every five seconds to cool down, and yet the sun blankets your body in that kind of warmth you feel as much in your heart as on your skin.
If you don't know already, Mahalo means thank you in Hawaiian.  If you've been reading this blog at all you know the word means a lot to me.  I've been to many places around the world because of some of the work I get to do and AT LEAST once on every trip there is a moment when I am so awestruck and utterly grateful for where I am, and what my senses are feasting on, that all I can do is say thank you over and over again in my head.  And no matter how many times I say it, it never feels like enough.  
I believe in the law of attraction but I'm never exactly sure how I attracted some of the travels (most of the travels) in my life.  I wind up in certain places and in the moment I stop and take in a breath.  And sometimes I ask myself questions.  Why I am here?  Why is this in front of me?  How did I get here?  Each destination, big or small, East, West, North or South is overflowing with divinity.  When I'm in front of something that makes me feel that, no matter where I am in the world, in those moments I feel such an intense sense of gratitude, but at the very same time a deep yearning fires me up.  Because I always wish in those moments that I could share this.  I wish I could package and ship the sun, the wilderness, the river, the grapes, that perfect bite, the mountain and the hills.  I wish I could put these things each into their own little packages, and with them the feeling that I get when I'm face to face with those things.
One of my most favourite daydreams is where I come into a bunch of money.  Then I call a travel agent, book rooms and first-class air, the works, for everyone in my life that I hold dear.  And off we go!  The destinations change.  Sometimes I dream I'm on smaller scale trips with a few people I love.  These past few days I've been dreaming of what it might be like to be able to take complete strangers on a journey.  Some, like single mothers and fathers, people working in the service industry who never get to experience certain levels of service themselves, I would send on extravagant, luxury vacations.  Others, people who are interested in seeing the world, would travel to far off lands to gain a little bit better understanding of how even though different people have different ways of being and living in the world, we are all still completely connected. Because there is nothing better in life, NOTHING, than those moments when you realize we are truly all one.