Sunday Funday

Excuse the cliche please, but this is what my Sunday is today.  Why, you ask?  Because I've made my ROW80 goals for the week!

I only have one goal, and that's 1,000 words a day, five days a week.  When I made that goal I took Kait Nolan's advice and cut my original goal in half and posted that as my ROW80 challenge.  I have to say, I felt a tiny twinge of uncertainty for a goal of only 1,000 words per writing session but as I've said before, my issue in 2012 was setting this grand sweeping goal that became unattainable for me in light of the rest of my life that I have to (gladly) live and ultimately was a failure.

Now I am so over that tiny twinge.  In fact, it's turned into a warm glow.  Here's what I wrote for the week, copied from excel (I'm keeping track!).

07-Jan	1369
08-Jan	1200
09-Jan	1200
10-Jan	700
12-Jan	1132

So as you can see on January 10 I only got to 700 (I had a very busy day that day) BUT all the other days I went past my word count goal to reach a total of 5601 for the week — 600 words OVER my total word count goal for the week.

Ideally I'd like to write more, but I was super busy with work assignments and I can't complain about that.  Other weeks I won't be and on those weeks I hope to write more.

The point is that I can't be hard on myself, nor do I even feel like being.  I met my goal!  I made writing a priority for a length of time, five days a week and because of that I made headway on my WIP and that is what's most important to me.

So today I get to do some cooking for the week and just hang out — with my hubby, with a book (I'm reading The Hobbit for the very first time if anyone wants to comment on that), with some television, and doing some laid back Internet surfing (made it to yoga this morning too).

Also usually I like to do one gratitude blog post a week, so here's just a big old Thank You to ROW80 AND to the writers who have visited my blog this week and offered their stories and encouragement.  I cannot express how cool it is to all of sudden feel not so alone in my writerly pursuits.  So thank you!  I plan on continuing to check out other ROW80 folks and offering my support right back!

Happy Sunday people.  Hope you're enjoying yours! 

On Ganesha and how you handle an obstacle in your path

It's not even a week since New Years day and I'm feeling really good about things, really grateful.  I've had some good freelance work come in, my yoga practice feels great and I've been cooking delicious, healthy food and gobbling it up.

I know this is the easy part though.  I'm feeling motivated and things are organized — so checking off the things on the list is a joy and goes by in a breeze.

The challenge will really come when I'm not feeling motivated, when life throws something in my way.

Even though Ganesha (the dude in the picture) is known as the remover of obstacles, a yoga teacher said in an online class I took a few weeks ago that he actually likes to put something in your way when you're on the wrong path.

I like that idea.  It follows along with the "everything happens for a reason" motto.  So I'm putting the idea in the memory bank (and on this blog in case the memory bank teller goes on vacation) for the next time Ganesha — or the universe, or your dead uncle harry, or God (however you like to word it) — puts a big old bolder in my way, or a pebble in my shoe, or a bump in the sidewalk.

Because I know these things will happen.  It's part of life.

Still, I'm not sitting around waiting...

I've hit above my word count goals for the first two days of ROW80 and most likely will again tonight.  The writing is going pretty smoothly right now since I decided to begin Book 2 again from scratch after writing 20,000 words of it and feeling like something big just wasn't working.  Now that I've figured out what that something big is I feel a lot more comfortable going forward.

Have you ever had that feeling — when you've started something but you feel like something's not right?  And then instead of that feeling going away it just turns into neon flashing lights in your brain — often without a decipherable message?

That's always been a signal for me (not that it happens all the time) to turn around, go back the way I came, and figure out an alternate route.

Or maybe you're a plough on through person?  The kind that knows he/she may have made a couple of dents or blunders along the way but is perfectly content going back and fixing them, and then fixing everything else so the whole thing fits together.

I'm sure there's pluses or minuses to either approach.  Part of writing, part of life, is making mistakes and there's always more than one way to fix them, I think.  Don't you?

Just don't give up....as Kristen Cashore says, never surrender!

Why don't we give this a try?

Just when I said I wasn't going to declare any kind of writing goal on my blog I found something that's really got me inspired.

Not sure if any of you have heard of NaNoWriMo before? It's a writing challenge that comes about in November where writers all buckle down and try to write a novel in a month.  Some are successful, some are not.  I almost tried to do NaNoWriMo once, but things got in the way.  What I didn't like about the challenge is it didn't help me to make writing a daily habit - which is what I wanted (and still want) most.

And then, I swear in some sort of kismet way, last week I stumbled across A Round of Words in 80 Days.  It's like this writing challenge was made just for me! If you read my last blog post, it speaks to all the reasons why I didn't set a big sweeping writing goal for myself this year.

With this writing challenge you set a writing goal of your choosing and must try to keep it up for 80 days.  BUT....the challenge encourages you to set a small writing goal — one that is easily attainable for you and will get you in the habit of writing. Also, you don't have to stick to the same goal throughout the 80 days.  If things in your life change, if for some reason you need to adjust your commitment — you can adjust.  As it says on the A Round of Words blog — this is the writing challenge that knows you have a life!  I love that! Especially because I often forget (or try to ignore) that part when I'm setting my goals.

The other part I love is that you check in for the writing challenge twice a week by posting on your on blog — so this also encourages more blogging.  Seriously, I truly feel this challenge was made for me (even though this isn't the challenges first year).  Also, A Round the Word in 80 days does this challenge four times a year.  So cool.

So here I go.  Here's my small writing challenge — I truly hope it sticks!

I pledge to write AT LEAST 1,000 words a day, five days a week. I don't know if this sounds like a small number or a big number to others but I can write more than that in a small stretch usually — but what I really want here is to get in the habit of writing most days.  Does this mean I stop writing when I reach 1,000 words?  No. But if I can get in this habit of writing AT LEAST this, five days a week.  I'm gold.

I'm pretty busy with other things in January and February, so I hope to actually increase my word count in March for the last stretch.  I will also have to take a slight break in February because I have to do some travelling but what's important is right now and right now my goal is 1,000 words a day, five days a week.  I'll be checking in with updates on my blog Wednesday's and Sundays.

Here goes! 

Another blank canvas

Last year I set BIG! goals for myself.  (Now insert unrealistic where you see BIG!).

I've gone through being frustrated and hard on myself about it — to feeling kind and forgiving.  I had no idea what 2012 had in store for me — that I'd be much busier with other things than I knew when I set said goals.  I wouldn't trade that business.   I wouldn't take back the other parts of the year that filled my life with new experiences and new work and joy and even sorrow.  It's what made the year.  It's what makes me, even now.

So now it's 2013 and even though I didn't get to everything I hoped I would in my writing life for 2012, it's time to start again.

Do I have writing goals?  Sure do.

I've got word count goals in mind.  I have promises to stay away from television and internet surfing that I've made to myself.  These mundane writerly goals are important, and that's why I'm noting them here — but they're not what really counts I've learned.

So I want this to be the year I find greater strength.  I want this to be the year I find greater commitment, devotion and also greater patience.  I want this to be the year that my writing turns out better than any year before.

I'm not sure how exciting any of that sounds but it's my truth.  I'm not even sure how these goals will help me to be productive without a concrete execution plan in place, but I'm ready to try a new approach.  I'm willing to see if doing it this way will bring me closer to the dreams I'm never giving up on.

Anyone with me?

Let's take away the things you can measure in pounds and inches, pages and word counts, dollars and cents, cholesterol levels, hours and minutes. Take all that away and ask yourself what you really want for 2013?

It's another blank canvas people.

This was the year...

And what a big year.  We moved to LA.  I finished a novel and started another.  We had seven sets of visitors.  I visited the South Island of New Zealand, Hawaii and Orlando. I started writing for a few new travel publications, did some PR work for the first time on the side.  Tom and I took trips to Laguna Beach, Palm Springs and Santa Barbara.  We flew back to Toronto to visit family twice.  I completed eight full weekends of a yoga teacher training.  I've made new friends and kept in touch with old ones. I did my first three-day juice cleanse.  I started riding a bike.  I started writing this blog.  Tom and I made a new home. Close to the end of this year I hit a bump in the road and stumbled.  Now it's the last day of 2012 and I'm pretty much back on my feet. My knees may feel a little wobbly but there's sturdy ground beneath me and strength in the muscles that hug to my bones.

So those are the main events among the many others of 2012, but in truth, this was the year...

   ...the ocean got closer

....and I remembered you can always hear it, even in the sound of a breath.

This was the year of knowing you're always moving forward as long as you don't give up

...and that gratitude is infinite

...fun is of the utmost importance

....and fear is what you feel just before your spirit grows.

This was the year I was reminded you can't worry about unanswerable questions

 ....and that hope is at its strongest when you're staring the hardest truths in the face.

I learned that love travels through text messages, and webcams and emails.  It sits inside photographs and birthday cards, on notes written on the back of old bills.  And even when you're not thinking about it, it's hanging out in the air around you, connecting you to the world, and all the people you love no matter how far away.  It's connecting you to all beings.  Everywhere.

You are you.  Dare greatly.  Put your true self out there for the world to see — even if that means risking failure, being vulnerable, and writing corny, heartfelt blog posts that are a little too sappy for most people's taste.

See what can happen when you just go with it?

Know that you are blessed beyond your fondest dreams.

Keep your heart open...

...to give, give, give and to receive.  Forgive yourself for being human.  Find gratitude even for the things that happened this year that were excruciating, or at least work on finding it.  Because one day you're going to look back on this year and be in awe of how long ago it was, of how it shaped you, of how you got through it, and of how you were actually able to accomplish so much.  Even though it may not feel like it, even though it might feel like the opposite, you're stepping up.

And the truth is no one can promise you this means you'll see your dreams realized.  The truth is no one knows that much for sure.  But if you're here, you're fed and clothed, sheltered and breathing, you've got today to give it your best shot.

This was a year of love.  This was a year of greatness.  This year and all.  xo

Hope - warning this isn't full of warm fuzzies

If there are any of you out there that wondering where I've been, well, to be honest, I've been avoiding posting for the last little while.

I'm not going to go into it here, but what I will share is that I'm struggling with some things.  I'm okay.  Everyone's healthy.  It's just that, as we all know, life has it's good times and it has its not so good times.  This is just one of those not so good times.

Part of the reason I've been avoiding putting anything up on my blog is because you can imagine what this has done to my writing life.  I struggle with procrastination at the best of times, so when I'm in a funk, there ain't a lot getting done.

I was thinking today though:  Regardless of how far away I am from reaching the goal I set out for myself at the beginning of the year, I've still accomplished a lot.  I have a really solid working draft of my first book.  And I'm almost half way in to my second.

I don't want to lie and tell you that I'm not questioning just about everything right now.  Because I am.  I'm wondering if my plans for these novels are just way too ambitious.  Yet at the same time I've come so very far that I just feel like I've got to keep going.

Honestly, if there was one thing I could wish for it would be for someone to light a fire under my ass so I could speed up and write these books as fast as so many authors write there's — in weeks, in months — and regardless of time spent have the books still turn out fantastic.  At this rate, the time span I'm working with just seems to somehow be growing, regardless of how much closer I get to an end.

Phew! Talk about a pile of depression just in time for the holidays.

Like I said, it's why I've been avoiding this blog

But if I didn't post anything until things got better, then I would start to feel like I was hiding parts of me.  I am a believer in positive thinking.  I am a believer in gratitude (as you know very well if you've read this blog in the past).  But I also believe in truth.  I'd be putting a whole lot of fake up on this blog if I only posted when I was feeling motivated, happy and optimistic — or even just pretended I was.

The truth? I'm human.

And right now this human is feeling a little lousy, and in some ways like she's let herself down.

Do I know if tomorrow will be better?  Does saying it will be, over and over again make it so?  Not if there isn't any action to go along with.

In the meantime, what I know for sure is I've got hope.  After all this time, after so many years of having a dream, even when I've worked at it at a pace that seems to move me forward in inches instead of miles, I've still got hope.

Because regardless of the time that's past, of the months I've been productive and the months I haven't been, regardless of the steps back I've taken in light of the steps forward, I haven't given up.

And I don't intend to.

I can be grateful for that.

One more post before November is out

Oh, my dear, dear friends and family (and anyone else who reads this blog, if there is anyone), how long I have left you with not so much as a nibble of information about my writing life, or my too-quick trip to Toronto, or the amazing American Thanksgiving weekend I spent in Palm Springs with friends.

Then again, do you really care about any of that?

There are some of you who have been so supportive of my writing ventures, so I do know there are at least a few of you out there rooting for me in this regard.  For that I am eternally grateful.  But before I get to a few more things I'm grateful for, perhaps I can share a little bit about my current writing saga...

Alas, dear readers, there is a month left of 2012, and therefore it is now rather obvious that I'm not going to accomplish what I set out to do, when I began this blog, yes, almost one year ago.

I suppose I should be disappointed, but truly I'm not (well maybe just a little melancholy).  One of my greatest downfalls is setting unrealistic goals for myself in an effort to jumpstart my work ethic to rocket speed.  BUT, I did still get a lot done this year.  AND, AND, AND, the year is not over yet!!!

I'm flying to Orlando on Tuesday to cover an epic Disney event, and enjoy the Disney experience as it should be enjoyed: with children!!!  My aunt and uncle and cousins are coming along with!  I can see us now — in the line at It's a Small World, wearing mouse ears, eyes filled with Mickey glee.

When I'm back, it's back to work.  I'm not going to say what my writing goal is for the end of the year.  But I've got one.  A big one, but perhaps not as big as that great big (too big) goal I set out for myself at the beginning of the year.  As I wrote that last sentence my ego just jumped up to remind me that there are millions, upon millions, of other writers out there that could not only accomplish the goal I set out for myself at the beginning of the year, but surpass it.  And so to my ego, I say, a resounding $%&^#& you.  (But please ego, do not take this too much to heart, I suppose I wouldn't be who I am without you, wouldn't have learned many lessons, and ultimately that you are not me, just a part of my humaness).

So to turn it all back around.  Thank you for this determination I have not to give up, even when I'm scared shitless that I've been spending far too much time on a project that is never going to work, is never going to make it into readers hands, or into readers hearts.  Thank you for the courage I have to admit that all of this might be true but that the opposite could one day be true also.  Thank you for sweetness.  Thank you for a cozy bed.  Thank you for soft lights, and cool grey mornings (yes even in LA).  Thank you for support, from family, friends, the Universe, Spirit.

Thank you to each of you who follow your truth and inspire me anew each day to follow mine.

Thanks be.